The West Indies may cruise to victory over England but when you're following the tour from the comfort of a luxury ship in the Caribbean it's hard to complain says DAVID ROBSON

A COLD  coming we had of it/Just the worst time of the year/For a journey, and such a long journey.
Thus wrote the poet TS Eliot in Journey of the Magi. Had he been with us as we set out on the second day of February for the magical transition from snow and recession to Caribbean warmth, five-star luxury and cricket, lovely cricket, he might have written the same.

At Heathrow the snow was deep and the systems were down. Bound for Florida and our cruise ship, we were delayed for 30 hours, hideously delayed if hideous means being kept in the dark in maximum chaos. True, the conditions were testing but how did British Airways acquit themselves? Acquit is not the word for it; quit is the word.

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Perhaps it was a portent of what would unfold five days later at the Test match in Kingston.

If anything could move minds away from the abjectness of the journey, it would be life in the care of ITC Sports on Silversea's Silver Shadow, a magnificently appointed Italian ship carrying just over 300 passengers, most of them pickled in the spirit of cricket. Food fabulous, service sublime, milieu magnificent. But for a day or two the talk was all travellers' tales of woe. Only later did we free ourselves to purr over the dinners, exploit the bars and agonise over how much longer Ian Bell will bat at number three for England.

It is an affluent crowd; experienced cruise passengers, many with dozens of Tests abroad notched on their bats.

Not the Barmy Army, the gravy navy. When it comes to feeling relaxed and indulged, nothing quite compares to cruising.

THERE is a gym on board of course, and you can power-walk or even jog round the AstroTurfed observation deck if you fancy but the only really tough decisions involve what to choose from the menu and what drink to have next and where to drink it: at the cocktail bar on the pool deck, where the regulars perch themselves at lunchtime, sunset and many hours in between, in the Panorama lounge, after an elegant tea of tiny sandwiches and cakes, or in the main bar, which gets noisy, crowded and jolly before dinner and after, long into the night.

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Such are the conventional challenges of cruising. But we are cricket lovers (or conjoined cricket lovers or else spouses of cricket lovers, for almost everybody here is a married couple) and this is no ordinary ship. Go to breakfast, wait to be guided by the maître d' to a table and find yourself sharing with David Gower and Darren Gough - very friendly, interesting and amusing both. I must, of course, maintain the privacy of the breakfast table except to tell you Gower said: "If Beefy is affected by the credit crunch, we're all in trouble, " which has the ring of absolute truth about it.

Ian Botham - Sir Ian, Beefy - is on board and even in this company he has a unique aura; so too are Allan Lamb and his wife Lindsay, the most ebullient and convivial couple on Earth.

Even if he had never faced, and brilliantly dispatched, West Indian fast bowling you would pay money to have the "Lambys" make your party go with a swing.

Though few of us here are schoolboys (far from it), we are in cricket heaven, though by the end of last Saturday many thought they were in cricket hell.

But first let me enumerate our consolations: the cabins - no, suites - are comfortable and have large walk-in wardrobes, which will take the contents of the most overweight of suitcases.

The dining room is magnificent but even the evening dress code is relaxed - most men in short sleeves, women fairly casual, both lots in trousers (not shorts). Amidst this informality, the once-a-week formal evenings - dinner jackets (many of them white), evening dresses, some serious jewellery - come as something of a shock or a treat.

The food is uniformly excellent, with an irresistible buffet breakfast, four-course dinner and the option of eating exclusively Italian in candlelit La Terrazza restaurant.

But even better is the sheer easy sociability of it all. There are enough people here to allow you to pick and choose your drinking and dining mates but not too many to stop you getting to know anyone you'd want to.

Interesting to contrast the atmosphere and pleasures with a similarly priced, similarly excellent grand hotel. That would be very different. There would be a starchiness about it - grand hotels are grand about themselves and guests are more stand-offish with each other.

THERE are a lot of well-to-do people on this ship and some distinguished ones: there are grandees of the MCC, given a forum to say what a marvellous job they do (who am I to differ?); there are some who sold their businesses at just the right time and others whose pension funds have clearly avoided the worst slings and arrows. But there's no "side" to anybody; people could not be more friendly or down to earth if they were at Butlins.

We had arrived in Jamaica a day late. We weren't scheduled to attend the first day of the Test and now we had missed the second. But on the third we were on to a bus, along the grim, rundown roads to Sabina Park for hours of slow West Indian batting.

Back at the ship after play there was chuntering disgruntlement: England didn't bowl straight, Monty Panesar disappointing again. We gathered like a church congregation for the word from our experts Gough, Lamb and cricket writer and broadcaster Christopher Martin-Jenkins, chaired by Paul Allott, a director of ITC Sports (on this trip even the staff have taken wickets for England). Goughy, the most trenchant, got it absolutely right.

The following day went along the lines he predicted, though nobody could have imagined how far. We saw an afternoon of cricket we may never forget.

At lunch England had lost two wickets cheaply. While we dined lavishly in our marquee outside the ground, we heard a huge cheer. Kevin Pietersen had been bowled. Usain Bolt, Jamaica's Olympic hero, the world's greatest sprinter, was brought in for our delectation but drama was afoot. We rushed to the cricket at unBolt-like speed.

The next 45 minutes were incredible. England succumbed to the irresistible force of the moment. With the home crowd hysterical, pace bowler Jerome Taylor ripped away England's heart: 51 all out. Horrifying and riveting. Back at the ship, we gathered for multiple post-mortems.

Darren thought we would win the Test series in the West Indies, and also the Ashes; so did Botham. Some believe them. There was a fabulous floor show the following night in the ship's theatre. Its climax - Goughy doing a Viennese waltz. Now the Silver Shadow has sailed to Antigua and a whole new kind of Test nightmare. A long journey indeed.

GETTING THERE:

ITC Sports (01244 355527/www.itcsports.co.uk) offers a nine-night Bajan Bonanza package taking in the Third Test in Barbados, from £1,965pp (two sharing), including accommodation at the Amaryllis Beach Resort, some meals and excursions, tour hosts, return flights from Gatwick and transfers.

Departing February 24. Match tickets are not included but guaranteed at face value. ITC Sports offers further celebrity-escorted land-based tours for the current series throughout February and March taking in the Fourth Test in Trinidad and One-Day matches.