You might expect a voyage round the Caribbean to attract more 'veteran' holidaymakers. But ANDY McINNES discovers a ship that might ruffle the feathers of a few traditional cruises ....

FIRST  it's Tom Jones. He's followed by Neil Diamond.

Next up is Diana Ross, then Shirley Bassey, then Lulu - and Cilla Black is there to provide the encore. No, we're not in Las Vegas or even the West End of London. This is just part of the entertainment package provided by a group of Stars In Their Eyes winners as we sail around the Caribbean on The Ventura.

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P&O's newest liner - with its mix of in-your-face razzmatazz and sedate glitzy cocktail bar - is not your regular cruise experience. But it's none the worse for that.

One of the great benefits for Scottish holidaymakers is that there are direct charter flights from Edinburgh and Glasgow to Barbados for the Ventura's winter cruises. So instead of landing in Miami or some other American hub and enduring two hours of frisking, you are whisked straight from the flight to a coach at the foot of the aircraft steps and taken to your stateroom - with absolutely no hassle.

Your luggage arrives shortly after, and before you can say "Another pint of bitter, please, " our great adventure around what the itinerary calls the "Paradise Islands of the Caribbean" begins. This is the only description I object to in all the information we are bombarded with every day via the ship's own Horizon newspaper. While some islands - such as St Maarten, Antigua and Tortola - are indeed a little taste of paradise, other stops such as Dominica and St Vincent are as appealing as Saltcoats in the rain.

Still, if they are not to your liking you only need to step on terra firma for a short while before returning to the luxury of the ship.

As the Ventura is the length of three football pitches, and boasts several swimming pools, a gym and a sports deck, you certainly won't be bored when it comes to grabbing some exercise. Personally speaking, I'm content just lifting my arms up and down towards my mouth, eating and drinking as much as possible to keep my circulation going.

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The restaurant choice on board is vast, offering everything from set-time and any-time waiter service dining, to buffet spreads, Frankie's pizzas and burgers by the pool.

As for restaurants, East provides a touch and taste of the Pacific rim, while Ramblas provides as many tapas as you want for a small extra charge. A new innovation is a New York-style diner, offering buffalo wings, grilled steaks and cheesecake.

Perhaps the best eatery though is The White Room, where the chefs have been trained and influenced by Marco Pierre White. Here they serve up modern classic European dishes, often with an Italian twist, either in an indoor or outdoor setting.

AND when you're tired of supping and dining, there's always the live entertainment. By and large, the tribute acts are a good bit of fun, but for the more traditional cruisers there's the split-level Arena theatre which hosts shows with the blessing of Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Other lounges and bars feature shows by comedians, singers or bands performing as the ship sails on to its next destination. My favourites are the Metropolis, with an ever-changing view of cities around the world on a wall of video screens, and the Spanish-themed Ramblas where a guitarist makes you feel like you're in Marbella.

That's the thing about The Ventura - it's all things to all sailors, and if you throw in school holiday cruises attracting up to 1,000 children that can sometimes upset the veterans trying to escape from the organised bedlam of a pirate treasure search.

The good, however, should far outweigh the few bad points that get the traditional passengers shaking their heads as they sail into the sunset to the sounds of YMCA?

GETTING THERE:

Prices start from £1,817 for Scottish departures with an outside cabin on board, or £1,978 for a balcony cabin.

Fares are based on two people sharing, and include all main meals, entertainment and facilities.

Fore more information, or to book, call P&O Cruises on 0845 3 555 333 or visit www.pocruises.co.uk