Enjoy a short sentence in a luxury 'prison' says LOUISE BATY

AS the imposing hotel entrance rose out of the dark we half expected a ghostly footman to shuffle from the shadows and snatch our
bags.

Oxford’s Malmaison hotel is truly a one-off.

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Originally a castle, it was built in 1071 by order of William the Conqueror,  remaining a royal residence for centuries before falling into disrepair.

Part of it became a jail in the 13th Century, housing  Oxfordshire’s murderers, crooks and highwaymen right up until the mid 1990s when it was deemed too expensive to  modernise. In 2003, the empty prison was sold off and completely renovated.

Thankfully, the Malmaison’s welcoming staff were nothing like the formidable prison warders who used to stalk the dimly-lit corridors.

When we arrived at our home for the night, we were secretly relieved that it wasn’t one of the renovated prison cells.

Instead, with its chic muted decor and glass balcony, it provided a peaceful haven from the busy town centre just a few yards away.

But then we read a leaflet charting the hotel’s history and discovered that our room had a creepy legacy of its own.

Along with the rest of the New Road wing, it was built on the site of the castle’s moat – also used as a mass grave for executed prisoners.

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With that cheering thought, we headed to the basement brasserie, originally the keepers’ lodgings.

The cosy decor and vibrant atmosphere soon perked us up.

We enjoyed warming dishes of braised shin beef and roast chicken breast with haricot blanc in truffle sauce, washed down with a bottle of the house wine – a blood-red Argentinian Malbec.

Plush
The meal, finished off with sticky pear tarte tatin for two, set us back just under £70 with service.

Nightcaps in the stunning third-floor bar, with its high ceilings and squishy easy chairs, were the perfect end to the night.

Before we left the next day we had a sneaky look at the converted A-wing.

Even with its plush carpets and trendy furniture, eagle-eyed telly fans would recognise it from shows such as Porridge, Bad Girls, Morse and The Bill – the former prison was popular as a filming location.

Although the “cells” still sport their original thick metal doors, the rooms are surprisingly light, airy and  luxurious.

They’re also roomy, as each one has been fashioned from three knocked-through cells.

The hotel has kept one original cell, complete with rickety metal beds and cold stone walls, to give visitors an idea of the way prisoners used to live.

It’s a far cry from the slick surroundings in place now.

Those who really want to ramp up the glamour can choose to be incarcerated in one of the ultra-posh suites located in the former Governor’s House.

Either way, it would be a crime not to lock yourself away in this gorgeous hotel.

FACT FILE:
LOUISE stayed at the Malmaison hotel, Oxford, to celebrate the DVD and Blu-ray release of The Experiment, a remake of the German thriller Das Experiment. The film is a tense psychological drama set in a prison, starring Forest Whitaker and Adrien Brody.

Get your own prison experience staying behind bars at the Malmaison prison hotel. Rooms at the Malmaison Oxford start at £150 per night.

See malmaison-oxford.com or call 01865 268 400.

5 MORE UNUSUAL PLACES TO STAY
Carbisdale Castle
Culrain, Scotland
A YOUTH hostel set in a creepy old castle in the Scottish Highlands, this place is incredibly spooky. It is rumoured a mysterious lady in white roams the grounds, while the mournful wail of bagpipes has been heard.

Its setting, on a rocky outcrop overlooking a stunning river valley and surrounded by the beautifully bleak Highlands, adds to the drama. A private twin room costs from £25 per person per night. See hostelbookers.com
 
Martello Tower
Adleburgh, Suffolk
THIS fortified tower, built as a defence against a potential Napoleonic invasion, is now a spacious modern holiday home – while the outside has been lovingly restored.

It has two bedrooms – screened from the central living area – and a roof terrace.

The tower, sleeping up to four, costs around £600 for three nights.

See landmarktrust.org.uk or call 01628 825 417 for details.
 
The Lighthouse
Llandudno, Conway
THIS cliff-edge lighthouse in Wales offers several unusual accommodation options. The Principal Keeper’s Suite has a four-poster bedroom and sitting room with optional single bed. The Telegraph Room is a double-bedded en suite with original pine shutters and portholes used for telescopes – and you can even climb up to the roof via a ladder. The Lamp Room has a lounge with 280-degree sea views.

Rooms cost £75 per person per night, including the Lighthouse breakfast. For more information see lighthouse-llandudno.co.uk or call
01492 876 819.
 
The Old Railway Station
Petworth, West Sussex
FORMERLY Petworth Railway Station, built in 1892, you can relive the “golden age” of rail travel by sleeping in either the Old Station House or one of four restored Orient Express Pullman carriages. The house still has original features including a waiting room and parcels office, now the reception. The rooms, with luxurious double beds and baths, feel even more glamorous than the old trains that still chug through Kent. Rooms start at around £80 a night, including breakfast.

See old-station.co.uk or call 01798 342 346.

Radio Room
Lundy, Bristol Channel, Devon
THIS small brick building, on rocky Lundy – also known as Puffin Island – once housed the ancient wireless transmitter which for many years was used to keep the islanders in touch with the mainland. Sleeping just one, the Radio Room is perfect if you really want to get away from everything and everyone. Take brisk walks along the windswept cliffs, mingle with locals in the tavern – or just huddle up in this cute cottage with a good book. Three nights cost from £99 and seven from £158. See landmarktrust.org.uk or call 01628 825 417.