The goddess of beauty, a heavenly swimming pool and wine food. Just what you need for a big fat Greek pampering says LINDSAY CALDER
EVERY year hardy locals swim from the Greek sland of Kos across the water to the Turkish mainland.
It's a race and last year a schoolgirl won. As I dipped into the water, I kept the white houses of distant Turgutreis in my sights but as I swam they didn't get any closer.
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OK, so I wasn't actually in the sea but in the 190m swimming pool of my hotel, where you could kid yourself you really were swimming to Turkey. A leisurely breaststroke around the perimeter took 15 minutes.
The five-star Iberostar Odysseus is set in sprawling grounds, 5km from Kos town and 20km from the airport. As well as standard rooms there are suites, many with steps out to the pool.
The beachfront suites are the best choice, with great views and private terraces. The three dining actions include a relaxed taverna on the beach and an a la carte restaurant.
On half-board we ate breakfast and inner in the main restaurant, which has a large outdoor area dotted with small pools.
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I tried to adopt the Mediterranean diet of olives, Greek salad, fresh whitebait and chilled watermelon but the sticky baklava pastries on the buffet got me every time.
Our room overlooking the sea was, thankfully, a good dinner digesting walk from the restaurant, along bougainvillea-lined paths. Sliding glass doors let in the sunlight and sea air in the morning and at night we were lulled to sleep by the sound of the waves.
If that isn't relaxing enough, there's the Aphrodite Spa, named after the Greek goddess of beauty, to iron out your every knot and wrinkle.
Ever hopeful, I opted for a 60-minute anti-ageing therapy with an almond scrub and collagen mask. Afterwards, all the tension seemed to have gone from my face, as if it had been on its very own minibreak.
You could easily loll on a lounger all day before a sundowner at the beach bar. But it's worth getting out of your cossie to explore a bit of the island.
The hotel has an hourly shuttle bus into Kos town, a charming barren of cobbled streets and squares.
The central covered market is a one-stop shop for local products such as honey and olive oil soap. Nearby, the 14th-Century Kos Castle or Knights Castle ( €3 entry) is a great place for kids to clamber around, with towers, ancient pomegranate trees and sea views.
If historical ruins are your thing, there are many more to see. Since Alexander the Great arrived in the 4th Century BC, Kos has been a busy place.
In the 1500s it was invaded by the Turks, who held the island until the Italians occupied it in 1912. Amazingly, Kos only became part of Greece in 1948. A tourist train takes you on a 20-minute jaunt past many of the buildings left by various invaders.
And the harbour is full of boats offering trips to Turkey or to a variety of Greek islands. We boarded the Nikitas - a big, old-fashioned, wooden sailing boat - for a day of island hopping.
It was engine power rather than sails that took us through the waves and the captain even let me steer for a while. First stop was the tiny island of Pserimos, with a few traditional tavernas on a pretty beach.
While we wandered up stone steps to admire the view from the top of the island, the crew prepared lunch of pork souvlaki, salad and fruit.
Later we sailed past a monastery (with two monks) and a convent (with five nuns). "Do they get together for Christmas?" someone quipped.
Next was the much larger alymnos - home of the sponge. Sure enough, they were for sale in every shape, colour and size.
I suddenly realised the large, green, bloated thing that had freaked me out on the hotel beach the day before was not a killer jellyfish but an innocent sponge.
On the last day, four of us headed back into town for lunch.
Elia, on a cobbled lane, is a favourite with locals and one of the only restaurants to stay open all year.
We ordered a election of starters - octopus, Arabian pie, haloumi, aubergine saganaki, stuffed peppers and Greek salad - and were about to order mains when the waiter stopped us. "See how you feel after the starters, " he advised.
He was right - we were as stuffed as the peppers. We washed it down with local wine at €5 a half-litre. Along with the bill, the waiter brought a platter of ice cream and preserved fruit on the house.
"Mastica ice cream, " he said, explaining it was gum mastic or resin. All I could think of was bath sealant. But it was delicious. And, like everything on Kos, it had me coming back for more.
FACT FILE
IT costs £68 per night on half-board or £99 per night on all-inclusive for two adults sharing a garden view room throughout May at the Hotel Iberostar Odysseus, Kos (hotel swimming pool, below). To book visit iberostar.com
EasyJet flies to Kos from Gatwick from £39.99 one way in May. To book visit easyjet.com